Hot Nurses and Their Stalkers

All work places have them, extremely attractive people whether they are male or female. Because of what is known as the Florence Nightingale effect, patients falling in love with their nurses, even the old trashy books from the 50’s and 60’s involving doctors having their way with nurses. The porn industry has created a fixation on sexy nurses from these things which has created a mass lust for hot nurses.

The other day I had a nurse who seemed slightly upset; I told her I would help her because my partner and I were fighting two mental patients. After the doctor wrote orders for me to put both patients into seclusion I asked her to meet me in the office. The nurse informed me that someone had been following her to work and vandalizing her and another nurse’s vehicle. She said she thought it may be a former employee who was fired for unknown reasons, even to security. He always wanted to date her and the other nurse, but he was always turned down. Frankly this was an extremely weird individual who said off color remarks and no that is not why he was fired.

The person had painted “GAY PRIDE” with a big rainbow on all the windows on both vehicles. The person she suspected had in the past shown up at the hospital and pushed in her rear view mirrors. The other nurse’s brother had past away not to long ago and the suspect would call her in the middle of the night and tell her, “your brother always hated you and he is probably glad he is dead”. At this point I had heard enough and decided to call this sick SOB.

When I called he must of saw the caller I.D and said the nurses name and apologized. Then I said in my deep voice, this is not her, this is hospital security and you and I now have a problem. He gulped loudly over the phone the suspect now knowing who he is talking to. In the past I had a fist fight with someone much bigger than me in the emergency room in front of the suspect. I broke the guy’s neck and he needed M.R.I.s and several x-rays, he touched a nurse. I told him that if he arrived at the hospital for any other reason then to be seen that I would not bother calling the police and he will have to deal with me. He apologized several times and promised to not show up again.

Both the nurses are very attractive people and are constantly harassed by staff. The problem is that they do not want to cause a problem so they say nothing until it is too late. The suspect had always been obsessed with these two and because they never handle it right away the obsession festered. Now they have a possible psychopath stalker after them. I just ask for any staff member male or female to report sexual harassment no matter what even if others consider you un-attractive. People always say there is someone out there for everyone; hopefully the one out there for you doesn’t try to kill you. Report all harassment before it is too late.

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Please Compromise Security, We’re Rich

There are two ladies who come in for rehabilitation geriatric services. Everyday at 1620 they walk into the hospital entering through the front lobby to have dinner in our cafeteria. They spend about $1.13 each on chow, sit and bad mouth the staff. The reason people put up with them is because they are filthy rich.

Our hospital is in the middle of renovations which has blocked off certain short cuts. People now have to make a some what long walk to get to our elevators and head down to the café. There used to be straight shot from the front lobby to the elevators. We have placed motorized scooters to help the handicap and geriatric people get around this inconvenience.

Well the other day my director was called and asked a weird question. Our quality management department, which is next to the café, called and wanted to know if we could unlock all basement doors at 1620 and lock them when called? The doors are set to only open with a key card and can be exited in an emergency. My director not only told them no, but he was planning on having all erroneous doors removed to control access to the hospital. Quality management informed my director that there were two elderly ladies tired of walking around and wanted the basement doors unlocked so they could enter and exit at ease. They did not want to use the motorized scooters because of their pride. Once again my director responded with a firm no!

The most important thing in our hospital is customer service. Although I agree people need to be treated with respect especially in a hospital setting, but where do you draw the line. Do we risk everyone’s personal security by hindering access control so we don’t hurt the pride of two geriatric patients? If the security department is to leave the entire basement open then who is to say that someone else enters with the intent to cause harm? Frankly they can go buy their little scoops of veggies somewhere else because I will not risk staff and patient’s safety because of two old ladies pride.

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Liberty For the Criminals and Justice For None

A while back my partner and I had a dangerous situation on hand. My partner and I were in our office finishing up paperwork for some earlier incidents when our registration called about an intoxicated person. My partner arrived and found an intoxicated male in early 40s yelling at his wife. The subject was cursing and ranting about hitting a car. According to my partner he escorted the subject outside and informed him if he did not leave the police would be called. He thought the incident was over and we went back to paperwork.

A few minutes later I hear the someone out in registration arguing. Sure enough it was the same suspect back arguing with his wife and staff. He wanted to go back in the emergency room to see his step daughter and his wife refused to allow him. I told them that they needed to take their conversation outside. Of course I received a barrage of insults and then him and his wife went outside. I had a feeling something was wrong so I called my partner and followed the couple outside.

The women was walking to her mini van completely ignoring the drunk guy insults completely. When she arrived at the door that is when he snapped and grabbed his wife by the throat. With one hand he choked her and with the other hand started to hit her. I ran up twisted his arm and bounced him off the concrete. I checked to see if she was ok and my partner ran after the man. He jumped into his cherry 1969 chevelle with over 700 horse power (wife informed us later on the cars specs). As we chased he put his car in drive and almost ran my partner and I over, us jumping out of the way at the last moment. My partner took off on foot and I jumped in the security vehicle while radioing for the police. He took off our property so we could not follow. I turned on the police scanner to hear that it turned into a high speed chase. The drunk ended up recking the car and getting his ass whooped by the police when he tried to assault the deputies.

My partner and I received summons to be whiteness in the case. The day before court he pleaded out. I checked his past arrest records and this man had over 10 DUI, 3 felony domestic assaults one beating his previous wife, and several speeding tickets. So I was thinking they will throw the book at this guy especially since he tried to run my partner and I down. Well I called back and got the results. The SOB got off with no jail time and $1000. dollars in fines. Because your spouse can not be forced to testify she backed out at the last minute and dropped the charges. The high speed chase turned into fines and well there is no proof that he tried to run us over. She doesn't want to testify and she was our only witness. We almost get killed trying to protect this women's life and all this guy got was $1000. in fines. The county made a few bucks because it would cost way to much to keep him in jail.

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Baby Kidnapped and Lets Blame Secuirty

I am sure you have all heard by now about the baby stolen from Lubbock, Texas hospital. If not here is a little reminder for you all that live under a rock, this is from NBC news. 21 year old Rayshaun Parson was arrested and accused of kidnapping the 3 day old infant. Police said the woman in this surveillance video is Parsons, who posed as a medical worker, claimed she was taking the baby for tests, and walked out with the infant hidden in her purse.
The news of late has decided to blame the incident on the security department which is wrong! First off security officers can not be everywhere at one time nor can they check in every person who enters. The problem in most health care facilities is that no one thinks security is their job. The report says, “The women posed as a medical worker”, she dressed in scrubs. Also ask any real RN or CNA they know who works in their department, yes even the new ones. The women claimed she was taking the baby for tests. Who the hell accepts that answer that was complete laziness on the nurses’ part? Any tests on the baby would have been done in that department and if the baby was to be transferred the baby’s RN would have assisted in the transfer. Here is an example of what should have been said;

Nurse: Excuse me, can I help you?

Impersonator: Oh, I am here to pick up this baby to take for some test.

Nurse: Ok, hold on one moment while I call that baby’s nurse. I haven’t seen you around before,

what department do you work in?

Impersonator: I am just a tech, I work all over the hospital.

Nurse: I can’t see your ID badge and I didn’t catch your name, what was it?

Impersonator: Oh, my name is “blank” and I left my badge at home.

By now the baby’s nurse should have arrived and furthered questioned the women about what

tests are to be performed. With in a few moments an intelligent RN would have figured out this woman was a fraud and called the police or at least call a code pink. I know what people are thinking, that it is easy to point this out after the incident. This is in no way true, I have worked around RNs and I know they would never accept I am here for tests; give me the baby as an answer. The nursery dropped the ball, but instead of admitting fault they will let everyone blame security. The security department puts cameras up for these reasons. If those lazy security officers never up those cameras, one can only wonder where that baby would be. Probably dead and in the dumpster or sold on the black market. When something goes right security never has anything to do with it, but a staff member screws up its securities’ fault. I am very happy to hear that the baby was found, but the hospital needs to review it's policy on handing out sick infants to anyone that asks.

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I See Dead People

The hospital I work at believes in saving as much money as possible. The security and safety department does many jobs such as; dietary (running food to all floors after hours) , maintenance (fixing things plant ops has said are not broken, but ignorant nurses insist they are), psychologist (our emergency room insists on only having a social worker on call with a county full of nuts), and one of my favorites morgue attendant.

This week I hurt my back loading and unloading extremely obese patients who have recently expired. Starting on Friday my partner and I witnessed a doctor walk into a crowded waiting area to tell a couple of 19 year old their mom died. We heard the screaming ran over and opened the social worker's office to let them grieve. An hour later we are called to pick up a body from the emergency room. When my partner and I arrived to the room we saw a mass the size of a baby whale in a body bag. My partner after several exhausting minutes got the mass on our cart and it took all of our energy to get it down in the morgue.

When we arrived my partner and I attempted to put the women into the freezer. So when we tried to hook up our crane it would not fit over the woman's stomach. So I have her a squeeze that I later would regret. We got her lowered and she would not fit into the freezer so we put her in the autopsy room and lowered to a/c to 40 degrees. Afterwards my back as well as my partners were a little sore fighting with the corpse, but it was the end of the day and the funeral home was on their way to pick her up.

I walked in the door Saturday morning feeling good. When I walked in I saw that the paperwork for the funeral home was still here. I asked the morning shift if they ever checked the body and they replied "nope." So my partner and I ran downstairs to find the a/c went out and the room had a very pungent oder. It turns out there was decomposition and that squeezing I did made her expel what was left in her boules. The funeral home never arrived because they thought they would come tomorrow afternoon, no rush she should be refrigerated. The morning shift never called the funeral home, oh joy. We finally released her lift her was even more difficult because of the new smell and I had no vicks vapor rub to put under my nose to kill the smell, but we got her out and on her way to the ocean probably.

Later on that day my partner and I had one 250 pound male that was 6'10" and a 200 pound lady pass away, but were to get them in the cooler. Although they were lighter than the first cadaver they were still very heavy, not like lifting a weights because the weight is distributed all over the body and well this is where the definition of "dead weight" derives from. Saturday ended and and Sunday came about.

My partner from the previous two days was off and my fresh partner arrived on duty. We released the two patients and I was still feeling very good. No problems really at all, just the normal fix this and get me a clear liquid dinner plate. The first time I heard clear liquid dinner plate my partner and I thought it was water in a plate and it turns out we were wrong. We found it funny as hell, but the nurses and the pregnant women found it less than funny and look very pissed off.

Monday finally rolled around and my partner got another call from the emergency room to pick up another deceased patient. When I got the paper work I read that she weighed 200 pounds and notice a check mark by a place that the security department dreads to see. There was to be an autopsy performed on her and at our hospital. We lugged her down into the morgue and used the crane to lower into the freezer. When the doctor arrived, or who I like to call the butcher, we put the women on the cart and pushed her in the room. The smell of rotten flesh and feces still lingered, but just the same we had to lift this women onto the slab. The problem is our cart's crank is broken. We can not raise the cart level to the slab. Instead we have to lift this large mass 3 feet up and on the slab. We did so and left for the butcher to perform his dicing. A couple hours went by and we my partner and I went to put the patient back into the morgue now covered in flesh and blood and attempted to put the her back into the cooler. We dropped the patient back onto our cart and rolled her up to the lower freezer door and that's when we noticed something. She was to far over on the cart and if we used the crane the tray would tilt dropping the mass on the floor. We went to slide her over and that's when my back said, "You are done for the day, and for all your trouble I will make you feel like hell." I dropped her back in the cart and the doctor who was cleaning up helped my partner put her in her frozen temporary home.

After a few hours of sitting in my own emergency room, they sent me home with a strained back. The doc said if I loose feeling in my feet I was to drive back to the emergency room. He got his PHD on the back of a Mc Donalds place mat. I am doped up and feeling kinda good, but am slightly peeved that after several complaints the hospital refuses to replace our broken cart. I want to return to work asap because I hate sitting at home.

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